I thought this morning I’d take you on the journey of how me and my daughter Little B, got to where we are today – just to give us a backstory of our journey so far.
April 2014 in my works toilets with a positive pregnancy test in my hand. I had a thousand thoughts running through my head (cliche I know)… but I was happy. I wasn’t sure how the next nine months of life would unfold but I did know that my little jelly bean setting up camp would be brought into a world filled with love.
Fast forward 20 weeks, August 27th 2014, and I can put a gender to my jelly bean, a beautiful baby girl – and that was a shock. My boyfriend’s family predominantly boys. It took a while to get our head around the fact we now had a daughter rather than an ‘it’. We had only discussed boys names, so this opened a whole new can of worms. Who knew choosing a name for your child could be so difficult? I mean this is naming somebody – it’s a pretty big decision. It’s what that person is going to be judge on first and foremost before anyone knows anything about them. It’s what you know before you actually know the character of the person. It’s a lot of pressure.
30 weeks pregnant and looking at a 4D image of my daughter on the screen. How surreal? How can that even be possible? Seeing a little face, little expressions, stretches all happening live within my body at that moment in time. What didn’t make me happy however was losing my phone in all the excitement – and that set off a pregnancy hormonal break down, thinking I’d lost precious memories and photographs. BUT faith in humanity was restored, someone found my phone and gave my boyfriend (who had been constantly phoning it to see if anyone picks up) a phone call back. Off topic from pregnancy, but lovely when something like that happens.
40 weeks pregnant and 3 days. Labour. It was a pain that I couldn’t imagine, that you cannot explain, but it was a pain that was so rewarding and worth it. I definitely believe in mind over matter, and that helped me. I had a tough pregnancy, having to leave work early and then finding out I had PGP left me overthinking that the delivery would be a bad experience as a result. I wasn’t scared of labour. I knew there would be pain, I expected it and I welcomed it (especially when you can’t get your own socks on in a morning). I was contracting from the Friday at around 2pm, irregularly but throughout the day they were slowly becoming steadier. By 11pm, I had to discretely leave a family dinner and try to rest. I couldn’t sleep though. My contractions at this point were around every 15 minutes, but slowly they got nearer, but still irregular in length. By 2am I was having them every 10 minutes but they were only lasting around 30 – 40 seconds. The hospital wanted me to try and get them to last 1 minute. None the less I was advised to go up and went up anyway. I had this great pregnancy app on my phone called Pregnancy Plus, it helped me make lists and even time my contractions. Check out NetMums Top Pregnancy Apps if you’re looking to download one.
I arrived at my maternity unit and get checked over. Yep I was in labour, but they couldn’t feel my cervix at all. I still don’t understand how it had completely vanished. Off on a hospital walk a hour I went, came back and………still they couldn’t feel anything. 4am, I went home, exhausted and feeling deflated. I was having the pain, contractions, the timings added up but because they couldn’t feel my cervix I went back home. At home I was pacing around. I tried a bath, I could literally sit in a bath all day, I love them and heard they work wonders during labour. Bath ran, hop in….HATE IT.
By 11am I was crawling on the floor, deep breaths and everything. My contractions were still only about 10 minutes apart but lasting well over a minute. My boyfriend was urging me to go back to the hospital but I wanted to stay home as long as I could, I couldn’t have myself feel deflated again. He phoned anyway and I was back at the hospital but this time in the birthing centre. I was admitted at 12pm and then I started pushing at around 3pm. By 3.50pm I had my beautiful baby girl.
I did it. I gave birth. No pain relief, stood up and hardly any shouting and screaming. I’m pretty proud about that. They forget to mention the aftermath of birth though, the blood, the pads, the stinging when you go for a wee. Wow, it really was something. But it was something that I was so special to experience and I was so blessed to have the experience I did. Almost 10 months on and I still look at this so fondly and I always will.
Now having a newborn, then a 6 month old crawler turn into a 9 month cruiser is another story….. watch this space!