Right off the bat I’ll admit it. I love Disney (everyone does right?). But sometimes when watching these good for your soul, heart warming films – you just stop for a minute and think ‘well that’s stupid’. Now I’m probably not the first person or the last person to notice these annoying plots lines but since my 21 month old is discovering Disney (and by discovering I mean watching nothing other than Disney expect the odd Peppa Pig episode), I feel it’s good for my parenting spirit to have a good old moan. Here are 7 times that Disney drove me mad:
1. Beauty and the Beast – we know that the Beast becomes who he is by turning away the disguised enchantress, who labels him as unkind and with no love in his heart. The spell is set to end when he turns 21 years of age. We even see the magical rose wilt, so we know that this date is looming. Fair enough right? BUT in the song ‘Be Our Guest’ the lyric says ‘ten years we’ve been rusting’ meaning that the Beast was a mere 10/11 year old boy when he answered the door and refused to let the strange woman in (and a pretty old looking one if we are going off the portrait of him hanging around the dusty castle) . Pretty standard 101 stranger danger though right? He did the right thing if you ask me. She seems like she has some issues with children to be honest. Oh and whilst we are at it – what Prince opens his own palace door anyway with all that staff roaming around. I don’t buy it Disney.
2. Cinderella – now this really confuses me. I can’t watch this movie without saying this at one point. We all know the story, even if you’ve never watched the movie. Cinderella can’t go to the ball because of her super mean step family, Godmother turns up bibbity bobbity boop, Cinderella is transformed with all the required things she needs to go to the ball, ‘be back at Midnight’ yada yada yada. All is well. Come midnight, we see the dress, the carriage, horses, you name it all disappear back into it’s original state of nothingness…so how in the name of it, is a glass slipper able to just sit patiently on the ground waiting for Prince Charming to scoop it up. How?!
3. Frozen – this one is annoying as hell to be anyway if nothing else. So we all know Frozen (many of us not by our own choice) and how Elsa has powers she doesn’t understand and can’t control, so the choice is made to close her off from the world. Que annoying little sister Anna, knocking on her door everyday for god knows how many years and singing that song bloody snowman song (no wonder Elsa didn’t want to come out). The most annoying thing about all of this to me is…Anna is perfectly normal. Why can’t she go out? Make some friends? Take a trip? Live her life? Instead of clinging on to her sister and basically shutting herself off from the world. No sympathy for her. Seem’s like she’s making it all about her if I’m honest. No one said she had to be a prisoner. All woe me isn’t she?
4. Hercules – remember how Hercules not only saved the whole entire world, but was the only one who could do so and then just gave up his God status, that he worked so hard to gain back. Just so he could be with Meg who might I add
probably definitely wouldn’t have even been interested in him if he wasn’t a God in the first place (I know boo me for beating down their relationship). Wouldn’t mind but Hercules spends the whole entire film singing and moaning about how he doesn’t fit in and all that jazz. When it all goes tits up, ends in a nasty divorce and you have nothing to fall back on because you missed your chance to connect with your family, don’t come crying to us Herc.
5. 101 Dalmatians – so we know the main plot line of Cruella de Ville wanting the puppies for a coat and that’s not my main issue in this film. The thing that really bugs me is why do Roger and Anita want to keep that many dogs? I mean there house looks tiny, obviously there not going to fit 101 fully grown dalmatians in there, who could. Not like they life in a big grassy area either. The amount of money they are going to spend on vets bills, dog walkers and pet care is clearly a big no no for that many dogs straight away. What do they possibly need that many dogs for? It annoys me. I’m good with a baby, a bump and a cat.
6. Aladdin – aaah Aladdin. Okay Aladdin uses one of his wishes to become a Prince. All is fine and well right? WRONG. He then moans he won’t be able to keep up with this charade and won’t be able to set the genie free because of that reason. Okay. Anyway moving on, all is well and in the end the Sultan allows Jasmine to choose who ever she wishes to marry, obviously our main guy Al is the one. But isn’t he technically already a Prince since he wished for it and it was granted? He just chose to go back to being a civilian. Waste of the wish if you ask me.
7. Tangled – this is by far by my daughters favourite film at the moment, and I have literally watched it 4 times a day for the past week, so yeah, some things are really starting to get on my last nerve. Firstly let’s get one thing straight, King and Queen I’m talking to you here – you live in a castle and you’ve just had a baby, you either have a)a night nanny or b)guards constantly on watch of the baby. You certainly don’t sleep with your window and doors unlocked so crazy women can get in easily and undetected. Moving onto Rapunzel herself, if you have hair that long, you’re getting it caught in everything and on anything. Especially just freely running and wandering around the woods like it’s no big deal. You’d definitely have had that short brown do year’s earlier because you’d have to cut the knots out of hair that long I’m telling you (how short does it go when those kid’s braid it too). The thing that really annoys me though, Mother Gothel, is if you’re going to kidnap and hide away this princess, why would you give her the real birthday?! She wouldn’t want to see the lanterns on her birthday otherwise so you brought that on yourself. Stupid. Sidenote – if I had spent 18 years of my life growing this magical long hair and Eugene just cut if all off not even in a style, I wouldn’t be marrying him.
There we have it. Just a few of the things that get me feeling all sullen and huffy when watching this small selection of the Disney movies.
Do you have a particular Disney movie that annoys you for a certain reason? Why can’t they just make these films as flawless as we need them to be? What’s your favourite movie?