Do you ever sit and wonder if everything happens for a reason? I have. And I think I truly believe that too.
I’m 23 years old. And the first 18 years of my life were far from a walk in the park but I believe it’s best not to dwell on the negative or the past, and simply not let it define you. So more than I ever, I believe something is put in your path for a reason – no matter how positive, negative, upsetting or overwhelming. We are all human. And we haven’t failed a bad day yet, even on our worst days.
Recently, as it seems most years around this time, a bit of bad luck came our way. I knew it was coming. Well I didn’t. But for a few weeks, and if you have me on twitter you’ll have read, I just had this feeling that a black cloud was looming, ready to open and pour down on us. And it did.
I’m a stay at home mum to a 22 month old, pregnant with baby #2 – and we are extremely lucky to be in this position and with my partner working to allow this home life. Here’s the thing, my partner ended up leaving his job. Just before Christmas, just before we were meant to purchase a family car, just after things seemed to be going dare I say it…well. It was a big, messy affair and he was glad to be out. I was happy the weight had been lifted from his shoulders, I could see on his face the relief he felt to be out of a toxic place but at the same time I was riddled with worry. What did this mean for our family? I couldn’t get a job being pregnant, childcare is expensive – no one would employ me (yes I know this isn’t allowed but come on who would?). Luckily we had enough funds to last us until January – but the time bomb was ticking away with every second.
It gave me a kick up the backside. I made a change after being in deep thought for a day or two. I enrolled on a course, distance learning, to finish my training to become a Early Years/Reception Teacher. I now do 3 mornings a week volunteering in a setting across the road from me, with the flexibility to complete the course within two years and change my days to suit around my family. And it’s all funded until I earn over a certain amount which is even better. I am carving myself a future slowly, thinking post-baby/toddlers, keeping myself busy and motivated to take the plunge and transition from SAHM to Working Mum after baby #2 is born.
Again, I believe everything happens for a reason. My partner landed another job after about 10 days of being out of his previous job. One he doesn’t dread, feels more positive about and another bonus of more hours and better pay. It also gave him a fire to get himself into a career he is passionate about and loves – something for him to work towards in the future.
So here I am. Still my brain feels like a muddled, messy baby brain and I still need to settle into the new routine until I can feel I can put my umbrella down from stormy November but it’s a start. It just once again proves, life gives you a challenges at every corner, don’t let it overcome or defeat you. Focus on moving forward and being productive – life truly is what you make of it. So my posts will only be twice a week as of now, I need to prioritise and let myself fall into a routine without adding pressure to myself – so do bear with me and thank you for your continued support. And for anyone going through a rough patch, things will get better, the fog will clear and you’ll see your rainbow soon.